


Now What?

by windsorblue



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-11-30
Packaged: 2018-05-04 03:44:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5319173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windsorblue/pseuds/windsorblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fitz contemplating what comes next, now that Jemma's been rescued.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Now What?

**Author's Note:**

> Written right after "Purpose in the Machine"* and almost immediately Jossed. I'm happy with the way it turned out, though, so I'm finally just posting it because what the hell.
> 
> * - and by "right after", I mean on the train and bus to work the next morning, on my phone, in Evernote. Technology!

He dreamt he was balancing a basketball on his knee, which made sense in that dreaming sort of way, and it was absolutely 100% mission critical that the basketball remain in perfect balance. Under no circumstances could the basketball be disturbed.

He woke up abruptly but didn’t move, for fear of jostling the basketball. And when he looked - carefully - down he saw Jemma, sleeping, resting her head on his leg. And then he couldn’t help but move, but just his hand. His fingertips needed to know she was real, so he brushed a piece of hair off her face and tucked it gently behind her ear.

She was real.

He had succeeded.

So. Now what?

He was suddenly aware of how very much he’d wanted to be her hero. It had been a background task before - since Ward had saved her life instead of him ( _fuckin’ Ward_ ), it had been a background task, calculating away, almost achieved on the ocean floor but not quite. And then for a while it was just a wish - an unedited file of thoughts in a disheveled outline, organized all wrong and saved under a nondescript name. And then it had become a primary task, an all-encompassing thing that had to be done now now NOW no matter what the cost. He had ached down to his bones to find her - to rescue her - to be her knight. And if he was being honest with himself, it was about 75% because he wanted her to _be safe_ , and 25% because he wanted to _be the one that made her safe_ , which seemed selfish and awful, when you put it like that. Courtly selfishness - that was something he was going to have to put some thought into. But selfish or not, he’d been successful. And she was here, safe, sleeping with her head resting on his leg.

But now what?

Now, she slept while he held still. She was still unkempt around the edges. Even asleep she looked exhausted, the dark circles under her eyes betraying how long she’d had to remain vigilant and wary. She was skinnier than her usual self and her skin looked dry and papery, even as the IV drip worked to get her properly hydrated, like she might blow away in a stiff breeze.

Right now, in this moment, she was easily the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. No contest. She could roll out of bed tomorrow in Princess Kate’s wedding gown with platinum-dipped flowers in her hair and still not hold a candle to this moment. Well, probably - the wedding gown thing would be a sight too. But this right now was like all the dreams he’d ever had were coming true all at once. And it was captivating and powerful and made his insides quivery.

He thought about asking her to marry him as soon as she woke up, but then thought maybe they should at least go out on the one date first. Asking her to marry him would be more in line with the courtly selfishness thing he was going to have to think about. Besides, he didn’t have a ring handy, and he wasn’t about to leave her side right now to go fabricate one. But that still left the one question.

Now what?

Well, now - right now - Fitz was noticing the awkward angle of her neck, and how she’d had to extend herself in kind of a weird way to be able to rest against his leg, and thinking that if she stayed that way she was going to wake up with a hell of a crick in her neck. So he slipped his hands down under her shoulder and eased her up just a little, intending to get her properly back into bed.

She woke up with a start, scrambled backward into the farthest corner of the bed, her hands scrabbling around for something, and what they came up with was a smallish but rather lethal-looking bit of wood she’d apparently carved into a shiv. She held it out in front of her as if to stab, her eyes unfocused and wild, and Fitz held his hands up in surrender.

“Hey…hey, it’s just me. Nothing to be scared of. No one’s going to hurt you.” Her breath was ragged, coming in bursts, so he tried again, holding out his hands, palms facing her. “You were half hanging off the bed, so I was trying to make sure you were comfortable. You’re okay, I promise.”

“Don’t leave me,” she said.

“Never,” he said. “I won’t - never, ever again. Never.”

The hand holding the shiv fell, and the other hand came up, palm up, reaching out. “Stay.”

“Of course.” They stared at each other for a long moment, and then Fitz said, - “Oh, right now, you mean. You want me to get on the bed with you? Right now?"

Jemma nodded.

“Right, sure, of course.” Fitz stepped out of his shoes. “First, though, why don’t you give me Mr. Pointy, there, yeah?” Jemma looked down at the sharpened stick in her hand and carefully laid it across Fitz’s open palm. “There we go,” Fitz said. “We’ll just put him over here…” He put it on a small table near the chair he’d been dozing off in. “Did you bring that with you from the other planet? Maybe tomorrow we can analyze it - see how old it is, figure out the chemical components - that’ll be fun, yeah?”

Jemma watched him with a look on her face that seemed like she’d forgotten what fun meant. “I don’t know,” she said.

Fitz turned back to her, a whisper of heartache crossing over his face. “That’s okay. We don’t have to. Whatever you want.”

“I want to sleep, but I don’t want to be alone.” Jemma looked at the shiv with chilly eyes, like it was a thing she didn't want but didn't want to throw away. In case she needed it later, even though later wasn't likely. "What if something comes after us?" she said.

He sat down on the bed facing her. He wanted to put his hand on her knee, but it felt like an awkward and forward thing to do, so instead he put his hand on the bed next to her legs. It still felt awkward. "Nothing's coming after us. You're home now."

"That doesn't mean nothing's coming after us."

"...true enough, I suppose. I can't argue that point. But look - you're not alone, at least. Bobbi and Mack are just outside, and Daisy's resting in her bunk, and Coulson is around here somewhere..."

"Skye took the name her parents gave her?"

"Yeah, she did. Coulson can't manage to remember for more than ten minutes at a time..." He felt himself babbling, so he stopped; took a breath. "...and you've got me, Jemma. I'm right here. I'll be right here for as long as you want me to be."

She stared at him for a quiet, unsmiling moment, and then took his hand and tugged on it. He moved to sit next to her - opened his arms to her - and she sunk right in beside him. Her head rested on his shoulder and he felt like everything he'd just told her about being safe were finally, actually true. Like there was order in his universe again.

They sat like that for a long while, and just when Fitz thought Jemma had fallen asleep again, she said "You came for me."

"Did you think I wouldn't?"

"I don't know how long I was gone. Time didn't work correctly. I lost track."

His voice was quiet, and he stared at nothing on the opposite wall. "Six months."

She exhaled something that might have been a breath and might have been a sob. "That's a long time."

His hand moved off her shoulder. His fingers fiddled with her hair. "Yeah."

"But you came for me."

He pressed his cheek to the top of her head. "Did you think I wouldn't?"

"How did you know where to look?"

"I made a lot of wrong turns, a couple of very lucky guesses, and did a Jemma-esque amount of homework."

She exhaled again, but this time it might have been a laugh.

"Truthfully though - I couldn't have done it without Bobbi. She covered for me with Coulson more times than I can remember, and she was the one who found the critical piece of the puzzle. And Daisy - Daisy's the one who held the portal open so I could get to you. And even though I don't think she meant to destroy it, doing so brought us back. I pretty much just did the maths." He paused for a moment. "Even when everybody thought I was crazy to keep looking for you, they still made sure I could."

He could feel her nodding. "Coulson informed my family, then? After that much time I expect he had to."

"I don't know. He kept threatening to, but I don't know if he got to it before we figured out how to get to you."

She nodded again, falling silent. "I'm so tired, Fitz," she finally said.

"Lie down, then," he said. "You can sleep as long as you need to. I'm not going anywhere."

He drew the blanket up over her, but didn't crawl under it with her. She sighed and said "I really missed blankets."

"Do you want more blankets? I can get you more blankets..."

"No, this is perfect. Thank you." She pushed on his chest until he laid down next to her, awkward as a teenager, on top of the blanket. She rested her head on his chest and he brought his arm up around her shoulders. She grabbed his free hand with hers and clutched it tightly - almost as tightly as she'd been holding the shiv.

So. Now what?

Now, Fitz told himself, you let her lead. Now you take a backseat. Now you stay patient and not pushy. Now you're just about what she wants...whatever that may be. Hopefully it's you. Eventually. Not now, of course. Even though this is really nice, right here.

"No," Jemma said quietly.

Fitz moved his hand off her shoulder and made to sit up, but her head was resting on him, holding him down. "What?"

"No. I didn't think you wouldn't. I mean, I knew you would. Look for me, that is. Try to find me. I just...I was afraid that I'd be in the wrong place to be found."

"Oh." His hand came back to rest - gently - on her shoulder. "Well, it was just the one planet, wasn't it? We were bound to find each other eventually."

She made that maybe-laugh noise again, and it almost sounded like a hundred other times she'd half-laughed at something goofy he'd said. She nestled in closer and he could feel her breaths slowing down and evening out as she fell back to sleep.

And now what, Leo? Now what?

He closed his eyes and decided to think about that tomorrow.


End file.
